Citizens Oak Ridge
Letter to the editorCrestpointe in the future5/29/2007Dear Editor,
Scene: The Crespointe parking lot, a sunny afternoon a few years in the future. Harry and Mabel, tourists from Fenstress county, are making a Destination Stop. Harry: Would you look at those Oak Ridge scientists! They helped build the atom bomb to end World War II, and now look at this. They've built a parking lot on top of an artificial mesa! They've done it again! Mabel: Well it sure is interesting, but I wonder why they did it. Harry: I’m not sure. It was something about getting money for their schools. Mabel: Well I don't understand that at all. I don't see a single parking meter up here. Harry, let’s get out of here. It's too spooky. There is no one here. Harry (annoyed): In a minute Mabel. Don't you realize you'd have to drive 2,000 miles to see a real mesa, and now we’ve got one right here. Let's look around a bit. Go over to that concession stand over there if you'd like. Mabel: I heard that most Oak Ridgers didn’t want this, but they built it anyway. I wonder how come. Harry: It was the slogans. The Crespointe folks came up with some mighty powerful slogans. "For the future of Oak Ridge!", "This is not the time to do nothing!", "You've got to spend money to make money!" You’ve got to admit, those are hard to beat. Mabel: It sure sounds like it. They were really thinking outside the box. But I tell you, they certainly didn't build this for the view. That’s a mighty ugly factory down there. Harry: Mabel, turn around right now! You're not supposed to look that way. That's the Y-12 Weapons Plant. Mabel (not turning around): Well if they didn’t want us to look at it, why don’t they build a fence? Harry: It’s the honor system. Besides, don’t you remember that thing you signed at the gate. You promised not to look that way. Mabel (still looking): What’s that down there — that bunch of guys working in the parking lot. Harry (looking): What the heck? (Harry does not curse.) Could it be? It looks like they’re Simonizing an atom bomb! I didn’t think they did that anymore. Mabel: Now I really think we need to go. It’s going to be dark in three or four hours. And it really is spooky. Harry (annoyed): In a minute. Look, it cost $10 million to build this parking lot. Look around some at least. No, no, not in that direction! Mabel: But Harry, the concession stand was closed. Sign on the door said to visit their main store in Turkey Creek. Let’s go now. Harry (resigned): Oh OK. I’m glad we came though. At least we got to see where that gigantic pile of dirt in Oliver Springs came from. And I don’t mind at all paying that $2 entrance fee. Exuent, downhill, steeply. Recording thrown in the trash, telekinetically transponded to the present, mistakenly into a Panera's salad bowl, whereupon the annoyed customer delivered it to The Oak Ridger. Robert Wichner (The annoyed customer) Oak Ridge |
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